What are you looking for? — Examining our ‘absolutes’
I was recently speaking to one of my Elevate trainees. He was a bit discouraged about a recent response that he got from a college that he is interested in.
The email started off positive — the coach explained that he was able to see my trainee in his team’s most recent tournament and that he had performed well. The coach commended the player’s technical ability, speed of play, and hunger to compete.
Then, the message changed.
“While I thought you played well overall, as I compare and contrast with other attacking candidates in our 2023 pool, I rate a few players ahead of you at this time.”
Understandably so, this wasn't the message that my trainee wanted to hear. The email finished with the coach explaining that the door was not closed and that they would continue to keep in touch.
So what just happened, and why is it significant?
As harsh as it may sound, this interaction was a reality check. That’s the truth. For a lot of student-athletes who experience success in the club game and at the high school level, there is a protective — and comfortable — bubble around them. For most of these kids, the college level exposes the space that they are used to operating in, and this can be daunting. They may no longer be the star player in a coach’s eyes. They may no longer have their name in the local paper every week. They may no longer be a starter. They may not be a coach’s first option in the recruiting process.
So what next?
My message (question) to my trainee — and to others that I work with — is simple. What are you looking for?
Ask yourself, do your goals consist of ‘absolutes’? — A specific school, division, or conference?
I would never tell a student-athlete not to strive to be recruited by a certain school or aspire to play Division 1. However, I do caution my trainees about the complexity of these processes. A coach and her/his staff identify the student-athletes that they believe will improve their program. The decisions they make are a reflection of their culture, playing style, and belief in how they think their group should move forward. These are things that are out of the recruits’ control; this is why I talk to them about absolutes.
Absolutes are about control. Absolutes are unmoving. They are rigid. They don’t change. So, if you have absolutes, they need to be things that you — and only you — have control over. You can control how you eat. You can control how you train. You can control how much game film you study. You can control your attitude. You can control how you talk to yourself. You can control (create) your vision for yourself.
What are you looking for from your college experience on and off the field? What is the ideal space for you?
If you can write down what the ideal space is for you, you can find more than one place that meets your needs and expectations. In no particular order, here are some examples of what you might be looking for:
- A school with a specific major(s) that you want to study
- A team with clear communal values and standards that fit you as a person
- A school that can support your academic and medical needs
- A balanced experience between sports and academics
- A school that can offer a certain amount of scholarship money
- A team that has a playing style that fits your player profile
- A school that is closer — or farther — from home
- A campus life that has certain clubs and events that you are interested in
- A climate (weather) that makes you feel comfortable
- A location that fits your personality and interests (City v Town)
The list can go on and on. The point is, are you able to find a place that can check off enough boxes to make you feel confident about picking that specific school and soccer program?
My suggestion is this — Create a criteria for yourself. Write down what you want from your college experience. Write down what you don’t want. Be as clear and concise as possible so that you know exactly what kind of place — and space — you are looking for. If you have clarity in this, you are more likely to make a decision that is better for your development, as a person, student, and athlete.
